I have typed and retyped this post in my head and now that my fingers are on the keys....I'm at a loss for words. Kind of like when you get up in front of the church to tell your testimony and while a zillion thoughts race through your head, you start the discussion of how God miraculously worked in your heart with, "Ummm..I guess it started when...." :)
So, here we go
Several years ago, Andrew and I felt an unsettling in our lives. So, we started praying. Was God unsettling us to get us ready to move overseas with Cat? To move to a different house locally? To adopt? Foster? We really didn't know...so we just kept praying. One night, God spoke to Andrew so clearly that He was not asking us to adopt at that time, but the "unsettledness" just wouldn't go away. Andrew and I are firmly in the persuasion that until and unless God was calling us to such a life change, to move forward was foolish. So we kept praying...and wondering...and being unsettled. And I have to say, it was not fun. I felt expectant - but of what, I had no idea! I just knew God wanted us to keep seeking Him out and I just had to trust that He would let us be in the know when it was time.
Last spring, in God's perfect timing, Andrew was offered a new position at Cat...one that was still here in Peoria. After more than a year of very intentionally and earnestly seeking Him out about His plan for our life, we had a peace about this job and so Andrew said "yes." A few months later God pointed us to the perfect home for our family. Through a series of amazing events, we offered on the house and the offer was accepted as it was written within hours. We put our home of 12 1/2 years on the market a week later and it sold after just 2 days. Wow...wow!! I'm still amazed by it all! Throughout the whirl-wind we had (and still have) such a peace that God was working out every little detail.
We moved July 4th, after a weekend filled with 2 family reunions, and the same week Andrew started his new job. Then real chaos hit. Heart wrenching chaos. And then mind-boggling chaos. My sister broke her neck in mid-August and we welcomed her 4 yr son old Alex into our home for 5 weeks as she started the healing process (God's protection and healing of her are a whole different amazing story). Meanwhile construction got started to finish the basement of our new house.
That was enough change, right? Apparently not. I still felt unsettled. So we continued to pray about what else God desired for our family. This time, I knew my unsettling was an increasing burden to adopt, but Andrew did not have the same burden. So, I prayed that if the burden was not from the Lord (if it was just a peer-pressure type feeling, or guilt, etc.) He would take it away, and if it was from Him that He would strengthen it and give Andrew the same burden.
In early September Andrew agreed to let me contact Loving Shepherd Ministries to find out what countries we would be able to adopt from if we adopted (definitely not a settled matter). As soon as we got the response back and looked it over, Andrew confidently said, "Well, if we adopt, we'll adopt from China." I don't know why I'm continually amazed at his decisiveness, probably because I am such a second-guesser, but I asked, "Don't you even want to look at the other countries?" "Nope." he responded, "We've been praying for imprisoned pastors and our friend Pearl & her house church in China every night for the last 10+ years. God has given us a burden for China - it's China." Then he asked me "So if we were to adopt, what are you thinking? Boy? Girl? How old?" I replied, "This may seem crazy, but I think God has laid a boy on my heart, younger than Lucas, possibly older than Alyssa, but at least 4 years old." Andrew nodded his head and said, "Yep." Shocked, I asked him why - "A boy close to Lucas' age would be the right fit for our family." End of conversation, but awesome confirmation that God had been working behind the scenes :).
Fast forward to January. Andrew and I were working on our Bible study of the book of John and we were discussing the lack of faith in the Jewish people when they asked Jesus for a sign to prove He was the promised Messiah after He had taught them and done so many miracles. I turned to Andrew, took a deep breath and said, "This study is really hitting me hard. We've been praying about the possibility of adoption for 2-3 years and for the last 6 months I've asked God to take away the burden to adopt if it wasn't from Him and I still have the burden." He seemed relatively unfazed, so I uncomfortably fixed my eyes on the Bible in front of me and went on. "At this point, I feel like if I just keep praying and asking God to show me His plan, I will be like those Jewish people asking for another sign when He has already given me more than enough." I noticed Andrew hadn't fallen over backward in shock so I timidly raised my eyes to his and continued. "Is there any reason we shouldn't start the adoption process right now?"
He paused for just a moment and then said, "Nope. Call up Erin and Andy, figure out what agency they used and let's get this moving."
Now, you have to understand - when my husband says "Let's get this moving" he means it...no holds barred, no turning back. We called a few other adoptive families to ask questions, researched agencies and then told family and close friends, attended an informational meeting, attended an adoption conference, prayed over different agencies and chose one and of course we have a color-coded excel spreadsheet listing out the various steps we need to go through before the adoption of our little boy is final. :)
Now to answer THE question - when - we have been told 16-18 months on the long end (basically enough time to get our paperwork done and accepted) because we will be bringing home an "older" boy and there isn't really a waiting list of people looking for older boys.
One more story before I close out this novel:
A couple weeks before we told our kids, I was looking at different possible agencies while our kids were downstairs having just started an "Adventures in Odyssey" CD. Suddenly I heard a little voice behind me, "Mom? Are you and Daddy going to adopt?" Lucas had apparently been reading over my shoulder. We wanted to talk to our kids in a family meeting, not one at a time, so I gathered my wits and responded, "You know we've been praying about adoption for quite a while and we will tell all of you together when it's the right time." He then turned to me with tears in his eyes and with his voice full of emotion said, "Mom, because I want a brother...about my age. I'll share my room with him and I'll share my toys...I just want a brother about my age." Wow...tears! More confirmation that we were on the path God had laid out for us.
So, here we go
Several years ago, Andrew and I felt an unsettling in our lives. So, we started praying. Was God unsettling us to get us ready to move overseas with Cat? To move to a different house locally? To adopt? Foster? We really didn't know...so we just kept praying. One night, God spoke to Andrew so clearly that He was not asking us to adopt at that time, but the "unsettledness" just wouldn't go away. Andrew and I are firmly in the persuasion that until and unless God was calling us to such a life change, to move forward was foolish. So we kept praying...and wondering...and being unsettled. And I have to say, it was not fun. I felt expectant - but of what, I had no idea! I just knew God wanted us to keep seeking Him out and I just had to trust that He would let us be in the know when it was time.
Last spring, in God's perfect timing, Andrew was offered a new position at Cat...one that was still here in Peoria. After more than a year of very intentionally and earnestly seeking Him out about His plan for our life, we had a peace about this job and so Andrew said "yes." A few months later God pointed us to the perfect home for our family. Through a series of amazing events, we offered on the house and the offer was accepted as it was written within hours. We put our home of 12 1/2 years on the market a week later and it sold after just 2 days. Wow...wow!! I'm still amazed by it all! Throughout the whirl-wind we had (and still have) such a peace that God was working out every little detail.
We moved July 4th, after a weekend filled with 2 family reunions, and the same week Andrew started his new job. Then real chaos hit. Heart wrenching chaos. And then mind-boggling chaos. My sister broke her neck in mid-August and we welcomed her 4 yr son old Alex into our home for 5 weeks as she started the healing process (God's protection and healing of her are a whole different amazing story). Meanwhile construction got started to finish the basement of our new house.
That was enough change, right? Apparently not. I still felt unsettled. So we continued to pray about what else God desired for our family. This time, I knew my unsettling was an increasing burden to adopt, but Andrew did not have the same burden. So, I prayed that if the burden was not from the Lord (if it was just a peer-pressure type feeling, or guilt, etc.) He would take it away, and if it was from Him that He would strengthen it and give Andrew the same burden.
In early September Andrew agreed to let me contact Loving Shepherd Ministries to find out what countries we would be able to adopt from if we adopted (definitely not a settled matter). As soon as we got the response back and looked it over, Andrew confidently said, "Well, if we adopt, we'll adopt from China." I don't know why I'm continually amazed at his decisiveness, probably because I am such a second-guesser, but I asked, "Don't you even want to look at the other countries?" "Nope." he responded, "We've been praying for imprisoned pastors and our friend Pearl & her house church in China every night for the last 10+ years. God has given us a burden for China - it's China." Then he asked me "So if we were to adopt, what are you thinking? Boy? Girl? How old?" I replied, "This may seem crazy, but I think God has laid a boy on my heart, younger than Lucas, possibly older than Alyssa, but at least 4 years old." Andrew nodded his head and said, "Yep." Shocked, I asked him why - "A boy close to Lucas' age would be the right fit for our family." End of conversation, but awesome confirmation that God had been working behind the scenes :).
Fast forward to January. Andrew and I were working on our Bible study of the book of John and we were discussing the lack of faith in the Jewish people when they asked Jesus for a sign to prove He was the promised Messiah after He had taught them and done so many miracles. I turned to Andrew, took a deep breath and said, "This study is really hitting me hard. We've been praying about the possibility of adoption for 2-3 years and for the last 6 months I've asked God to take away the burden to adopt if it wasn't from Him and I still have the burden." He seemed relatively unfazed, so I uncomfortably fixed my eyes on the Bible in front of me and went on. "At this point, I feel like if I just keep praying and asking God to show me His plan, I will be like those Jewish people asking for another sign when He has already given me more than enough." I noticed Andrew hadn't fallen over backward in shock so I timidly raised my eyes to his and continued. "Is there any reason we shouldn't start the adoption process right now?"
He paused for just a moment and then said, "Nope. Call up Erin and Andy, figure out what agency they used and let's get this moving."
Now, you have to understand - when my husband says "Let's get this moving" he means it...no holds barred, no turning back. We called a few other adoptive families to ask questions, researched agencies and then told family and close friends, attended an informational meeting, attended an adoption conference, prayed over different agencies and chose one and of course we have a color-coded excel spreadsheet listing out the various steps we need to go through before the adoption of our little boy is final. :)
Now to answer THE question - when - we have been told 16-18 months on the long end (basically enough time to get our paperwork done and accepted) because we will be bringing home an "older" boy and there isn't really a waiting list of people looking for older boys.
One more story before I close out this novel:
A couple weeks before we told our kids, I was looking at different possible agencies while our kids were downstairs having just started an "Adventures in Odyssey" CD. Suddenly I heard a little voice behind me, "Mom? Are you and Daddy going to adopt?" Lucas had apparently been reading over my shoulder. We wanted to talk to our kids in a family meeting, not one at a time, so I gathered my wits and responded, "You know we've been praying about adoption for quite a while and we will tell all of you together when it's the right time." He then turned to me with tears in his eyes and with his voice full of emotion said, "Mom, because I want a brother...about my age. I'll share my room with him and I'll share my toys...I just want a brother about my age." Wow...tears! More confirmation that we were on the path God had laid out for us.
