If you are an Anne of Green Gables fan, you will recall how Anne lamented that she was certain that a rose would, in fact, not smell as sweet if it were called a thistle, because of course, to Anne, (notice the 'e') names mean something.
I understand how Anne felt. The day Timothy was placed in my arms and I was asked, "So, what's his name?" I froze. Of course Andrew and I had talked over, prayed about, and decided on a name. I froze because the weight of branding my precious first born for life hit me like a ton of bricks. I finally whisper-croaked "Timothy," and Timothy...honoring God...he is. Names are important.
That's why when people asked me if we were going to change Ka Hei's name, I easily responded, "No." My first question to his case worker was, "What does his name mean, and who gave it to him?" I look at it this way...He is 10 years old, and after bringing him to a different country, with a different language, I wasn't going to take his name from him. If pressed a little further, I said, "If he decides he wants to have an American name, then we'll talk about it."
Obviously, Ka Hei is not a typical American name, especially since it is pronounced "Ga Hay" (not like it looks). But I knew people in our world would eventually get it and I told Ka Hei so on numerous occasions. I also watched Ka Hei get uncomfortable when people would ask him his name and especially if he was asked to repeat his name. Often if Andrew or I was nearby, he would respond, "I don't know" and look to us for help. It started my wheels turning a little and I began praying about if we should consider changing his name, or if we just needed to wait out the adjustment time.
Several weeks ago my kids were having a totally random conversation when Lucas bust out with, "Ya know, I wish my name was Bob!" To which Ka Hei quickly informed him, "No, you not change name. It expensive." I have no idea how he knows that, but he does. As Lucas replied with a totally goofy, off-the-wall comment, I felt God nudging me. When the laughter subsided, I looked at Ka Hei and said,"It does usually cost money to change your name, but because your last name will change in a few months when we adopt you here in the US, it would not cost anything to change your first name if you want to."
A huge grin spread across his face. "I like!"
I asked him, "Why?"
"People not know how say my name." I tried to reassure him, "True, but they are learning. They will learn how to say your name and then they will say it right." The rest of my kids chimed in agreeing with me. Timothy said, "Why would you change your name? Ka Hei is a good name." He didn't look very convinced. So, I told him to think about if he really wanted to change his name and that Andrew and I would talk to him about it again later, but I didn't want us to make a fast decision.
The past 2 weeks our family has been in Florida enjoying our yearly Ft Myers vacation (I'm writing this as we drive up I-75 through a rainstorm). The more Andrew and I talked about Ka Hei's name, the more we felt like we should leave the decision up to him. So, in the evenings after putting kids to bed, Andrew and I spent time talking over names. Long ago our case worker had recommended giving Ka Hei some names to choose from if we decided to change his name. So, we created a list of 4 names. Last week we called Ka Hei into our room, asked him if he wanted to change his name, and when we got an enthusiastic yes, we talked to him about what it would mean to legally change his name. Then we gave him the list and talked it over with him. It read, "Here are four names we like: Ka Hei, xxx, xxx, xxx. We also told him that if he chose an American name, his middle name would be Ka Hei.
He chose a name. I was a bit torn when I saw his choice (he put a check mark on the paper :) ). He chose an American name. Saturday night we asked him how he would like to answer people when they ask him what his name is...he confidently responded, "Isaac." And when we went to church the next day, that's exactly what he did It was truly a blessing to my heart to see his confidence.
Of course, this is all new for our family, for right now we still call Isaac, Ka Hei :), and maybe our family always will. Who knows.
Isaac, by the way, means "he laughs." It truly fits him perfectly. :).
That's why when people asked me if we were going to change Ka Hei's name, I easily responded, "No." My first question to his case worker was, "What does his name mean, and who gave it to him?" I look at it this way...He is 10 years old, and after bringing him to a different country, with a different language, I wasn't going to take his name from him. If pressed a little further, I said, "If he decides he wants to have an American name, then we'll talk about it."
Obviously, Ka Hei is not a typical American name, especially since it is pronounced "Ga Hay" (not like it looks). But I knew people in our world would eventually get it and I told Ka Hei so on numerous occasions. I also watched Ka Hei get uncomfortable when people would ask him his name and especially if he was asked to repeat his name. Often if Andrew or I was nearby, he would respond, "I don't know" and look to us for help. It started my wheels turning a little and I began praying about if we should consider changing his name, or if we just needed to wait out the adjustment time.
Several weeks ago my kids were having a totally random conversation when Lucas bust out with, "Ya know, I wish my name was Bob!" To which Ka Hei quickly informed him, "No, you not change name. It expensive." I have no idea how he knows that, but he does. As Lucas replied with a totally goofy, off-the-wall comment, I felt God nudging me. When the laughter subsided, I looked at Ka Hei and said,"It does usually cost money to change your name, but because your last name will change in a few months when we adopt you here in the US, it would not cost anything to change your first name if you want to."
A huge grin spread across his face. "I like!"
I asked him, "Why?"
"People not know how say my name." I tried to reassure him, "True, but they are learning. They will learn how to say your name and then they will say it right." The rest of my kids chimed in agreeing with me. Timothy said, "Why would you change your name? Ka Hei is a good name." He didn't look very convinced. So, I told him to think about if he really wanted to change his name and that Andrew and I would talk to him about it again later, but I didn't want us to make a fast decision.
The past 2 weeks our family has been in Florida enjoying our yearly Ft Myers vacation (I'm writing this as we drive up I-75 through a rainstorm). The more Andrew and I talked about Ka Hei's name, the more we felt like we should leave the decision up to him. So, in the evenings after putting kids to bed, Andrew and I spent time talking over names. Long ago our case worker had recommended giving Ka Hei some names to choose from if we decided to change his name. So, we created a list of 4 names. Last week we called Ka Hei into our room, asked him if he wanted to change his name, and when we got an enthusiastic yes, we talked to him about what it would mean to legally change his name. Then we gave him the list and talked it over with him. It read, "Here are four names we like: Ka Hei, xxx, xxx, xxx. We also told him that if he chose an American name, his middle name would be Ka Hei.
He chose a name. I was a bit torn when I saw his choice (he put a check mark on the paper :) ). He chose an American name. Saturday night we asked him how he would like to answer people when they ask him what his name is...he confidently responded, "Isaac." And when we went to church the next day, that's exactly what he did It was truly a blessing to my heart to see his confidence.
Of course, this is all new for our family, for right now we still call Isaac, Ka Hei :), and maybe our family always will. Who knows.
Isaac, by the way, means "he laughs." It truly fits him perfectly. :).
